This is the 5th version of my personal, sexual website. I started it in 1997, and now 10 years later, all I know for certain about this project is that I don't know anything anymore at all.

With this story and this website you're faced with my natural ambivalence. Some photos will lead you to believe that I'm showing my deepest self, but then again, I've chosen what to show you, so don't assume too much.

Is it an assessment? Am I examining the accounts of my sexual and social personae? Is it just sheer narcissism, just another “Look at me, look at me”? Perhaps it's a radical act, to lay myself bare, literally, especially in this 21st century full of tyrants that want to pull us back to the 11th century. So then maybe it's a political gesture as well, fighting against sexual puritanism. Those are all valid opinions.
But the real reason could be just that I enjoy it, and sometimes other people enjoy it as well. I've never felt shame over my sexuality, and I like having all these aspects together in one virtual place. I like challenging other men to document their own sexuality and to share that with other people.

I would like to believe that a world that celebrates eroticism without shame would be less violent, although what I've read of Greek and Roman history makes me skeptical. There is something to be said as well for mystery and discretion. Maybe all these pictures ruin the appeal, and I'd do better posting just a couple of murky glimpses instead.

Although I've known people for decades who never fail to act in mysterious ways to me. Whether or not I've got photos of them, if anything those pictures just make them more of a puzzle to me and not less.
 I have a writer friend whose work deals with stripping away all the masks and personae to get down to the fundamental human character. I admire that approach, it makes his work viscerally exciting. His characters are flayed open, and their emotions are so delicately wrought.

I wonder though if any of us could live such a stripped down existence, all those personae that we mask ourselves with ennable us to socialize, to show affection, to endure hardships, to be erotic, and transcend the daily routine. Maybe that's what this website is about, expressing the will to get beyond the routine.

2007 • 05 • 23

previous stories:
2005 • 01 • 11
2004 • 10 • 22